^{@thornsong​      /      ♡ .}  

^{in her heart holds access to a secret  behind the shroud of fake faces and names and mysteries.     in  her heart   she can see him for the boy he was once  ,    a child   ,   holding a hand out for the world that swatted it away and spat in his face and only gave him coldness to reap from it.      she suffers  ,   too ,   dented because of life’s insufferable regard  ,      but she remains stronger than he ever can.   each time he looks at her and wonders how     -      how can she tread the burning coals that just came with each breath to life ?}    

^{and he doesn’t even know half of what she has gone through.}

^{she is suffering like him but carries it a different way ,    she clutches onto happiness as much as she wears it like a mask when she is hurting     (  and he knows.  )    only this time it has a genuine tint that graces her in an innocent way.}  

^{when she turns around he  arches a brow ,   but it doesn’t take her long to return.   alex  ,  who sees spike’s different angles to him and can peek between the lines of his actions,   has come back with a chair and pulled it in front of him.   even if they both bloomed from childhood,    she has yet to actually sprout.}    

^{a remark has crawled up his throat but stops behind his teeth and shut lips.    soft petals made a soft press on his forehead and there’s a feeling that’s faint in his chest.    familiar in so many ways  ,    in so many lives’  memories  ,    and he’s silent       ————       there is an unknown urge but he doesn’t cave in.    he has a feeling of what it is and he only presses it down further into the hole he’s kept for himself as safety   –    to dump away everything displeasing and troubling.      even if this was a goodness     ..    something sinister can come from it with enough time.   and yet  a piece of himself  wants to feel vulnerable just .   this .    once.  genuine bordering his smile and lighting just a little bit of his living eye.}   

   ^{“    i could’ve bent down,  y’know.    “}